every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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