i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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