She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize