covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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