I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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