After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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