The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She bit a glass in half.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
