I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you traded sex for a burrito?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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