I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
