So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
