are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
