please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
