giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize