Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize