You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
