yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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