Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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