we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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