Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
