I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in