I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.