Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?