It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize