I haven't been this sober since birth.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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