he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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