I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
