And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
