ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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