Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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