on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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