even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
