so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You don't make any sense
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