he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
