Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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