Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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