my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
