Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
