i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
