Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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