Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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