Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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