oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
