As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize