Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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