We're facebook friends in real life
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
