I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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