i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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