maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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