At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
