i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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