Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
