Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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