Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
