I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's official drugs can't kill me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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