So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
