So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
