she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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