There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
