It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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