your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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