I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
