I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
