She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize