i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
