Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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