That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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