I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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