We're like a lot better than the average bears
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
